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    admin
    admin reposted Dotun 's post
    Welcome but not needed

    Have you ever had this happen to you? You have a thought, a vision, an idea, then you share it excitedly with your loved ones (Family, friends etc) and not only do they not buy the idea, they show no sign of supporting or even encouraging it. How did that make you feel? I...
    Welcome but not needed

    Have you ever had this happen to you? You have a thought, a vision, an idea, then you share it excitedly with your loved ones (Family, friends etc) and not only do they not buy the idea, they show no sign of supporting or even encouraging it. How did that make you feel? I don't know about you but in my feelings tend to run the gamut of disappointment, irritation and even anger. Of recent though I have been thinking and I have come to some helpful realizations that I want to share with you. As always please note that these are purely my views on the issue and are not all encompassing. Do think about it and if it resonates hold it close and if not drop it like it like a bad habit

    I looked within of recent and I have traced the roots of the pain that I felt when my thoughts and perspectives were "rejected" by loved ones to two things. Fear and Expectation. Let's examine each one shall we?

    Fear. Fear that unless the idea, thought and vision is well received by those close to us (especially parents) that it will not come to pass. This leads to us (almost obsessively) searching for someone that will buy our idea, affirm our thoughts and give us reason to believe that it will work out and when such isn't forthcoming, we find pain. Pain which usually results in lashing out at those that we care about. But consider these questions:

    Does the rejection of our perspective by others annul what We see?

    Does the fact that those close to us don't believe in what we believe make it of none effect?

    My answer to both questions is NO. The only person who occupies my energy space in life is ME and the only person that needs to "see" my idea fulfilled for it to be is ME. The acceptance of my vision by my loved ones is welcome but NOT NEEDED for its fulfillment. My vision is at the mercy of no one else but ME.

    Expectation. We have a vision and we have family and friends and we surmise that our family and friends OUGHT to see things like we do. We expect them to get excited and fired up and when they don't, the disappointment can be crippling and we find ourselves speaking words like:

    "Of all people I thought YOU would understand!!"

    " Why can't YOU see this?!!!"

    And what follows is usually us tagging our loved ones as "stupid" (or any other derogatory term) for not seeing what we see and we can end up cutting them out of our lives. But here is another question?
    "Is it not unfair to expect another unique individual (no matter who that person is) with his/her own unique world view and context of thinking to (with a certainty) SEE what we see?"

    My answer to the question above is NO. My loved ones (no matter how close)are their own people and thus i cannot EXPECT them to understand me utterly and accept my way of thinking. If they happen to do so, their acceptance is welcome but NOT NEEDED. The only person who needs to see what i see
    is ME.

    Remember when Jesus He asked His disciples "Who do men say that I am"? and they gave Him several responses and then He asked "Who do YOU say that I am?" I believe that what others say about your dreams, vision and so on is not needed for your personal joy and peace. Your dreams ache for only one person's approval. Yours.

    Shikena
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    admin
    admin reposted Jodi 's post
    TITLE: RESPECT FOR ONE; RESPECT FOR ALL.

    Friday the 5th of October, 2012 would not be forgotten so quickly in the history of Nigeria. It was a day when four promising young university undergraduates were gruesomely and unsympathetically murdered in Aluu community in the South-south region of...
    TITLE: RESPECT FOR ONE; RESPECT FOR ALL.

    Friday the 5th of October, 2012 would not be forgotten so quickly in the history of Nigeria. It was a day when four promising young university undergraduates were gruesomely and unsympathetically murdered in Aluu community in the South-south region of Nigeria after accusing them of theft without giving them a fair hearing, speaking of which those that took the laws into their own hands were not in the least of position to pass that kind of judgement. Tell me, would one who respects and acknowledges his/her culture and that of his compatriots partake in such a heinous activity? Not only did the incident shake Nigerians, it came as a shock also to the world.

    Days after the sad event which I tagged ‘heinous, barbaric, hideous’ took place, I was not myself; I was so consumed with awe that I found it hard to believe such happened. If such a thing could happen in broad daylight under the watch of Mothers, Fathers, Youths (who are supposed to be the harbingers of a just and upright society where law and order are practiced; youths of today who form the foundation of a better tomorrow) and according to some reports, Security officers who for whatever reasons there were, did nothing to stop the brutality, then I fear for the future of my country Nigeria; a nation where the assertion ‘be your brother’s keeper’ has become a mirage. Try as we may to convince ourselves that the issue is now in the past, there is a silent seed of discord that has been sown. Tribal sentiments would in one way or the other rear its ugly head on the long run unless adequate measures are put in place to curb any form of it. The community where the killing took place; Aluu community becomes an endangered community where people may not want anything to do with the community or any of its members for fear of being harmed which has been the general notion since the unfortunate incident. This can be averted once we induce in us the spirit of forgiveness, oneness and brotherhood.

    Perhaps, the four young men would have been alive today if the killers had a spirit of oneness and treated human life with utmost respect.
    Life used to be a lot more fun in times past; there was respect for one another’s culture, the saying, ‘be your brother’s keeper was not just a saying, it was a practice. Today, all that is almost gone. Where really has our sense of reasoning gone to?

    Should the leaders be blamed or have our parents come short in carrying out their duties? After all, charity begins at home or is the media to be blamed or is it in our classrooms? Where really has our sense of reasoning gone to? Who really is to be blamed?

    Violence and distrust have engulfed our growing world, should this be blamed on media shortcomings? Or have we been exposed so much to the ‘make believe’ world that our senses have become beclouded? All these questions and more I continue to ask myself because I do not know where all these unbecoming activities of violence, disrespect and disregard for one’s culture and that of fellow compatriots come from. Have we been able to acknowledge our own way of life let alone that of others?

    Culture has the power to create a better future only if its foundation is laid in unity, peace, harmony and Respect. Respect for one is respect for all because if you respect a person and treat such person nicely, you are invariably respecting everyone because such an individual will learn from you to respect and value other people and the cycle will not end. That way, you would be promoting harmony. Peace is not just the absence of war, chaos or conflicts. Peace is love, it is respect. Acknowledgement for one another’s beliefs, ideas and ways of life brings about peace and fosters a peaceful cohabitation without much effort.

    The youths have an important episode to play in promoting peace and creating the space upon which a better future can be built. Charity they say begins at home; the power of culture to create a better future lies in our wherewithal for a decent and just living. It lies in our ability to see, judge and reason, to love and be loved for without love, there can be no unity.

    The day we begin to respect and acknowledge one another irrespective of ethnicity or religion, the day we realize that black or white, it is the same blood that flows through our veins, the day we see that north, east, south or west, culture is what forms us and makes the world go round like an ocean that flows without hindrance, the day we start seeing that human lives are more precious that gold or diamond, the day we realize that no human life should be wasted, the day we begin to practice “live and let live”, that day, we may well be writing our future, A better future!


    Live and let live, can you? May the souls of the ALUU FOUR continue to rest in peace, Amen!
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    ytee
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  • Post is under moderation
    Welcome but not needed

    Have you ever had this happen to you? You have a thought, a vision, an idea, then you share it excitedly with your loved ones (Family, friends etc) and not only do they not buy the idea, they show no sign of supporting or even encouraging it. How did that make you feel? I...
    Welcome but not needed

    Have you ever had this happen to you? You have a thought, a vision, an idea, then you share it excitedly with your loved ones (Family, friends etc) and not only do they not buy the idea, they show no sign of supporting or even encouraging it. How did that make you feel? I don't know about you but in my feelings tend to run the gamut of disappointment, irritation and even anger. Of recent though I have been thinking and I have come to some helpful realizations that I want to share with you. As always please note that these are purely my views on the issue and are not all encompassing. Do think about it and if it resonates hold it close and if not drop it like it like a bad habit

    I looked within of recent and I have traced the roots of the pain that I felt when my thoughts and perspectives were "rejected" by loved ones to two things. Fear and Expectation. Let's examine each one shall we?

    Fear. Fear that unless the idea, thought and vision is well received by those close to us (especially parents) that it will not come to pass. This leads to us (almost obsessively) searching for someone that will buy our idea, affirm our thoughts and give us reason to believe that it will work out and when such isn't forthcoming, we find pain. Pain which usually results in lashing out at those that we care about. But consider these questions:

    Does the rejection of our perspective by others annul what We see?

    Does the fact that those close to us don't believe in what we believe make it of none effect?

    My answer to both questions is NO. The only person who occupies my energy space in life is ME and the only person that needs to "see" my idea fulfilled for it to be is ME. The acceptance of my vision by my loved ones is welcome but NOT NEEDED for its fulfillment. My vision is at the mercy of no one else but ME.

    Expectation. We have a vision and we have family and friends and we surmise that our family and friends OUGHT to see things like we do. We expect them to get excited and fired up and when they don't, the disappointment can be crippling and we find ourselves speaking words like:

    "Of all people I thought YOU would understand!!"

    " Why can't YOU see this?!!!"

    And what follows is usually us tagging our loved ones as "stupid" (or any other derogatory term) for not seeing what we see and we can end up cutting them out of our lives. But here is another question?
    "Is it not unfair to expect another unique individual (no matter who that person is) with his/her own unique world view and context of thinking to (with a certainty) SEE what we see?"

    My answer to the question above is NO. My loved ones (no matter how close)are their own people and thus i cannot EXPECT them to understand me utterly and accept my way of thinking. If they happen to do so, their acceptance is welcome but NOT NEEDED. The only person who needs to see what i see
    is ME.

    Remember when Jesus He asked His disciples "Who do men say that I am"? and they gave Him several responses and then He asked "Who do YOU say that I am?" I believe that what others say about your dreams, vision and so on is not needed for your personal joy and peace. Your dreams ache for only one person's approval. Yours.

    Shikena
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  • Post is under moderation
    TITLE: RESPECT FOR ONE; RESPECT FOR ALL.

    Friday the 5th of October, 2012 would not be forgotten so quickly in the history of Nigeria. It was a day when four promising young university undergraduates were gruesomely and unsympathetically murdered in Aluu community in the South-south region of...
    TITLE: RESPECT FOR ONE; RESPECT FOR ALL.

    Friday the 5th of October, 2012 would not be forgotten so quickly in the history of Nigeria. It was a day when four promising young university undergraduates were gruesomely and unsympathetically murdered in Aluu community in the South-south region of Nigeria after accusing them of theft without giving them a fair hearing, speaking of which those that took the laws into their own hands were not in the least of position to pass that kind of judgement. Tell me, would one who respects and acknowledges his/her culture and that of his compatriots partake in such a heinous activity? Not only did the incident shake Nigerians, it came as a shock also to the world.

    Days after the sad event which I tagged ‘heinous, barbaric, hideous’ took place, I was not myself; I was so consumed with awe that I found it hard to believe such happened. If such a thing could happen in broad daylight under the watch of Mothers, Fathers, Youths (who are supposed to be the harbingers of a just and upright society where law and order are practiced; youths of today who form the foundation of a better tomorrow) and according to some reports, Security officers who for whatever reasons there were, did nothing to stop the brutality, then I fear for the future of my country Nigeria; a nation where the assertion ‘be your brother’s keeper’ has become a mirage. Try as we may to convince ourselves that the issue is now in the past, there is a silent seed of discord that has been sown. Tribal sentiments would in one way or the other rear its ugly head on the long run unless adequate measures are put in place to curb any form of it. The community where the killing took place; Aluu community becomes an endangered community where people may not want anything to do with the community or any of its members for fear of being harmed which has been the general notion since the unfortunate incident. This can be averted once we induce in us the spirit of forgiveness, oneness and brotherhood.

    Perhaps, the four young men would have been alive today if the killers had a spirit of oneness and treated human life with utmost respect.
    Life used to be a lot more fun in times past; there was respect for one another’s culture, the saying, ‘be your brother’s keeper was not just a saying, it was a practice. Today, all that is almost gone. Where really has our sense of reasoning gone to?

    Should the leaders be blamed or have our parents come short in carrying out their duties? After all, charity begins at home or is the media to be blamed or is it in our classrooms? Where really has our sense of reasoning gone to? Who really is to be blamed?

    Violence and distrust have engulfed our growing world, should this be blamed on media shortcomings? Or have we been exposed so much to the ‘make believe’ world that our senses have become beclouded? All these questions and more I continue to ask myself because I do not know where all these unbecoming activities of violence, disrespect and disregard for one’s culture and that of fellow compatriots come from. Have we been able to acknowledge our own way of life let alone that of others?

    Culture has the power to create a better future only if its foundation is laid in unity, peace, harmony and Respect. Respect for one is respect for all because if you respect a person and treat such person nicely, you are invariably respecting everyone because such an individual will learn from you to respect and value other people and the cycle will not end. That way, you would be promoting harmony. Peace is not just the absence of war, chaos or conflicts. Peace is love, it is respect. Acknowledgement for one another’s beliefs, ideas and ways of life brings about peace and fosters a peaceful cohabitation without much effort.

    The youths have an important episode to play in promoting peace and creating the space upon which a better future can be built. Charity they say begins at home; the power of culture to create a better future lies in our wherewithal for a decent and just living. It lies in our ability to see, judge and reason, to love and be loved for without love, there can be no unity.

    The day we begin to respect and acknowledge one another irrespective of ethnicity or religion, the day we realize that black or white, it is the same blood that flows through our veins, the day we see that north, east, south or west, culture is what forms us and makes the world go round like an ocean that flows without hindrance, the day we start seeing that human lives are more precious that gold or diamond, the day we realize that no human life should be wasted, the day we begin to practice “live and let live”, that day, we may well be writing our future, A better future!


    Live and let live, can you? May the souls of the ALUU FOUR continue to rest in peace, Amen!
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    28/06/2015
    MY REFLECTIONS

    Life and fulfilling Obligations

    There is really no time to rest in life, is there?
    From the moment we are born into this world till the day we die, we are expected to fulfill one...
    28/06/2015
    MY REFLECTIONS

    Life and fulfilling Obligations

    There is really no time to rest in life, is there?
    From the moment we are born into this world till the day we die, we are expected to fulfill one obligation or the other.

    When a baby is born, its eyes are closed, everyone around start waiting on it to open its eyes.

    At 4 months old, everyone start asking, “Can she sit?” “Has he/she started sitting yet?”, etc.

    Not to forget that at 3 months, some mothers would have started training their Children to eat pepper!

    At 6/7 months, everyone starts to worry if the child isn’t crawling yet –they expect the baby to start crawling.

    At 8/9/10/1/12 months, the baby is expected to have started walking and if this isn’t the case, the mother panics. At this point, everyone is watching, the baby must begin to walk as all the elder ones in the house start leading the baby to walk.

    Then at 12 to 18 months, the baby is expected to have started talking. The question everyone asks is, “can he/she talk yet” “Has your baby started making sounds?” etc.

    Not to forget also that all those times, the baby is expected to have started teething.
    At 2/3 years of age, a baby is expected to start going to school – even if it means starting from crèche.

    As the years roll by and the baby grows, everyone begins to expect this and that from the baby of yesterday because gradually, that baby is becoming a Man/Woman.

    Why is it that when we are in Nursery School, our parents expect us to put in so much effort, pass and graduate so they can rest. But do they really rest? The next thing is you are expected to go to primary School, make good entrance results and get into secondary School. In Secondary School, our teachers beg us to read and pass so that when we get into University, it would be easy. Really? Is it always easy in Uni?

    Once in Uni, Lecturers start with their own – You have to read and make good grades so that life after graduation won’t be difficult. Then graduation comes and you are expected to get a job immediately. The pressure becomes too much and when you eventually get the job, your parents start pestering you to get married. And when you get married, everyone starts counting with you – you ought to have given birth to your first child.

    After Child bearing, you find out that even you too are as guilty as the rest of the world. You start expecting so much too from your children – do this, do that!

    When your Children also finish their Education and get married, the world now start watching, waiting for you to become a grandma/grand-dad. Ha! Is there really rest in this world?

    Most times, we think we are living lives for ourselves but we fail to realize we are actually living programmed lives. Everyone goes through the same pattern of life just that, through different approaches. Also experiences differ.
    No rest in Life really, no rest.
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