MISCELLANEOUS/UNCATEGORIZED

Share your miscellaneous writings in this segment. From random writings to general articles on health, car, food, travels, politics, technology, culture, family, sport, religion, culture, phones, movies, music, fashion and events to jokes and social issues. If you have a random article or story that doesn’t fit into any of the other segments, post it here, but remember to give it a title.

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    Suicide, the escape companion of depression

    September, 2017.

    This is probably one topic that has been over flogged, over stretched, sun dried, rewashed and re-dried. Suicide, depression's escape companion. I remember reading about the death of Yinka Olonode sometime back in 2013, he had...
    Suicide, the escape companion of depression

    September, 2017.

    This is probably one topic that has been over flogged, over stretched, sun dried, rewashed and re-dried. Suicide, depression's escape companion. I remember reading about the death of Yinka Olonode sometime back in 2013, he had committed suicide in America. That day, it dawned on me that Depression, just like death is no respecter of persons, achievements, status, riches, your location, connections etc. Anyone can be depressed - rich, poor, tall, short, powerful, well connected, high flyer, healthy, sick, extrovert, introvert; you name it.
    Suicide is just an escape from chronic depression which means it can be avoided. If depression can be fought early, it won't reach its limit.

    I didn't immediately feel sad as much as I felt when I realized who Yinka was. You see, he was popular back in the day for his role in one of MTN's popular adverts that rocked major TV channels then. I knew the advert very well when I was quite young. After realizing who he was, I felt really pained that someone people would have sworn was doing very okay will think of quitting. What many people still don't know is that depression is very real; many people in Nigeria have been depressed at one time or the other in their lives but they don't even know because they are always quick to end every sad statement with, "Nigerians are the happiest people on earth, I cannot be sad" and wear that fake cloak of happiness. Such statements give you just a temporal feeling of hope, it creates a mask for some time and only makes depression linger for a longer time. Depression is not fought with 'I can, I will, I am' only; it must be confronted, not encouraged. Not everyone is able to snap out of depression, these few people sadly go on to commit suicide.

    Depression, according to the Longman Dictionary of contemporary English, is a medical condition that makes you very unhappy and anxious and often prevents you from living a normal life. There it is, very simple definition but a very big issue. Depression is simply a state of being unhappy and remaining so for a long time. When something is depressed, it is said to be low - like low heights, low planes, low surfaces, low grounds and the likes. It is the same way too in a depressed person - low energy, low vibes, low spirit, low morale, etc.

    When I first read the news of the young man's death, my first question was why did he relocate abroad at all? Relocating is not for all personalities, no matter how one argues that it is for greener pastures; it is still not advisable for you if your personality can not readily adjust to culture change, new environment and systems. A further read on the young man revealed that he was facing some challenges before he left the shores of the Country. He had confided in his friend that things were not so good for him at the time and people around him were always taking him for granted. This was a friend that envied him so much because he felt his friend had more going for him (I deduced this from the post his friend shared to bid him farewell). The young man actually ran from his problems rather than face them. From all he had told this friend of his before he relocated, one would see that underneath all the fine, popular boy persona was a very emotional, sensitive spirit. Other people would not care about what people are doing to them, others would join them if they can't change them. For a young man to open up his heart for another person to see, it means he had swallowed so much already, he was already depressed at that time but he felt going abroad was the best escape, sadly he was wrong. If only he had opened up to someone who would have prevented him from attempting to run from his worries or helped him to heal first before going.

    Sadly, depression can follow anyone anywhere. I also read online that he was an illegal immigrant in the U.S. Who would be happy to constantly be on the run? Many people are residing illegally in many countries 'where things work' today but you know what, they have resolved to keep pushing no matter what it takes. But is it everyone that can live such a life? No. Many smiling faces you see out there are actually bottling up more than you can imagine, a more reason why you should remain loyal and true to your loved ones and friends so that they can always open up to you when things are going rough for them. This is not to say though that those who commit suicide are not usually surrounded by family and loved ones, the circumstances may just be different.

    As exciting as going abroad to live sounds, it is not for everyone. Some people fare well in unknown places, others don't. "I have a real hustling spirit, I can adapt easily to places and a new environment", you may say, but is that all that there is to life? What happens when life suddenly throws you off balance? When depression sets in, as a person living in a foreign land/new environment, how do you handle it?

    A point I want to bring out in this write-up is to make the reader know that personality type really matters when you are planning to relocate permanently to an unfamiliar territory and this can play a huge role on depression. It is the knowledge of this fact that should now make you plan well on survival tricks. Many people who complain of being homesick when they are far from home are actually experiencing a phase of depression without knowing so. Forget all the big grammar used to describe depression on the internet. Once you notice you are unhappy for a long time and things just seem somehow, uninteresting, boring or you can't explain it; dear, you are depressed.

    No one wants to be a failure, no not one! Failure is the number one cheerleader of depression. Failure leads to frustration and if not well checked, chronic depression and eventually suicide. Financial failures, academic failures, relationship failures, loss of job or the inability to secure one, loss of contracts, business failures etc. are some examples of situations that can lead to failure. To some women, miscarriage and stillbirths are seen as failures.

    Sadly, suicide is an escape companion of depression. Men mostly suffer chronic depression because society has put so much responsibilities on their shoulders, it has set standards for men and when they are not able to meet up, it judges them wrongly and leads them into an unhappy state.
    Suicide is usually the next thing after chronic depression. The fact is that society, no matter how it is struggling to accept equality, feminism is still partial and expects less from women than men. It is very easy for a man to quit than for a woman because women deep down know that no matter what happens, they can always hide under the umbrella of their husbands or relatives or male friends (I do not stand to be corrected on this fact. Look at the statistics of those who commit suicide. Why do you think the male folks are more? It is because men don't get as much help as the women when they are faced with the same life challenges. Please ladies, put aside the feminist talk for once and probe on this further without a biased mind). The society is more sympathetic towards women than men in financial needs.

    At that point of NO HOPE AGAIN, A man's ego will make him easily quit after facing difficult times and rejection from everyone he has hoped in for rescue but a woman will rather resolve to do the lowest of lows than commit suicide because the society accommodates female sex hawkers, not male sex hawkers. Note, I wrote RATHER. I am not insinuating all women who are depressed due to financial failures and have no other way out do this to escape, I am only stating what most likely happens.
    I used to read newspapers very well before smart phones took over the parade and I can very well confirm that all the stories of women who were once prostitutes or who were still prostitutes and were interviewed, always anonymously opened up that financial difficulties without any other form of hope led them to it. Somehow, society takes this news well from women; from the men, no way!

    Some men decide to do things differently and they get lucky in doing so. Survival must be activated. Look at the case of Bobrisky, a popular gender-bender in Nigeria today. Do you know the beginning of his story at all? Well, the story is all over the place and since he has also shared it before himself, you can search for it and understand the point of my argument. Not everyone can do the magic of O.Y.O or independency, there is a reason why independence has an opposite word - dependence. That word exists because no matter how you preach independence, you will still have people who would still be dependent so enough of the 'don't wait for the government to do this or that for you, take charge of your life talks', let us face reality.

    George Orwell in Animal farm wrote: 'All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.' Please think about this.
    You need to walk in the shoes some people have walked in before castigating them. Some people don't have the same opportunities as you, some people are more hardworking than you but luck found you first.
    Not all men can handle failures which is why they very easily give up when help seems distant. It is very necessary to check up on friends and loved ones every now and then. Sometimes, all they need to drop the suicidal thoughts is the fact that someone close is watching their footsteps. Don't neglect a friend or loved one because s/he is still struggling, your support system may be the last strength they need to stay floating.

    Rejection too - rejection to grant an important wish like visa rejection, rejection by a loved one or trusted person, rejection of any form leads to depression too.
    I haven't digressed from the main point of this argument, I am just trying to touch every area.

    Sicknesses/illnesses/diseases that don't seem to have an end can also predispose one to suicidal thoughts. As much as people must still depend on others to live, indisposed people don't like to feel like burdens to their loved ones. Families and friends should learn to be around loved ones who are down with illnesses and diseases and not give them the slightest inkling that they are becoming a burden. Even if the health condition does not confine them to any bed, bear in mind that they wake up every day to reality. It is not enough that you hang around to encourage them, your smile may be more important than that hug with a straight face. Create a warm environment for them so that they can always open up to you.

    There is post-partum depression in women who have just put to bed. Husbands should learn to offer their wives who have just put to bed the best support they can. Extended families too should show support and love.

    The best ways you can put depression to check if you are not around a familiar place or faces (also applicable if you are around family and friends) are:
    1). Avoid lonely places.
    2). Join a responsible club or association, religious gathering or vocational School.
    3). Volunteer for causes, N.G.O's, charity organizations etc.
    4). Visit an orphanage to spend time with the children - trust me, they reassure hope. If possible, make it a routine. You must not break a bank to visit an orphanage, anything your heart can afford, take it there and they will appreciate the love.
    5). Visit people in prisons. You can go with a church or N.G.O if you do not have the wherewithal to go on your own.
    6). Visit open parks and gardens often where you are sure to see people around.
    7). Learn new things; acquire new skills.
    8). Reconnect with an old friend. Hang out with friends or family.
    9). More importantly, seek counsel from a professional.

    No matter what, don't let your thoughts control you when you are alone because it may be too late to realize that suicide is not the solution.

    Society's role is to be less judgemental and more encouraging. You and I make up the society. It is not until someone commits suicide that you should start organizing conferences and seminars on Depression as we saw in the subsequent weeks that followed the death of Dr Orji Allwell who committed suicide by jumping off the third mainland bridge in Lagos.
    Family and friends should always come through for their loved ones who are going through tough times because whether you like it or not, when someone commits suicide, he frees him/herself. S/he doesn't feel the pain, it is the living loved ones left behind that bear the whole pain and struggles to come to terms with the loss of their loved ones. So you see why it is very important for you to help (emotionally or financially) that friend or family member who is going through a tough phase.

    No one just wakes up one day and decides to commit suicide, the person would have gone through different phases before arriving at such a decision. You may be helping someone overcome a phase by just saying, 'Hi, how are you?'

    Sellah!

    Written by Odia Iyoha.
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    #FRIDAYNIGHTTHOUGHTS

    Many a time, I have failed and many a time, I have refused to give up - the reason which I still can't wrap my head around. Growing up as a child with no responsibilities and worries, life seemed perfect. You wake up with no worries and go back to sleep still with no...
    #FRIDAYNIGHTTHOUGHTS

    Many a time, I have failed and many a time, I have refused to give up - the reason which I still can't wrap my head around. Growing up as a child with no responsibilities and worries, life seemed perfect. You wake up with no worries and go back to sleep still with no worries. The thing I have discovered is that as one ages, reality begins to set in, you begin to have a sense of responsibility which you have to give in your best to live up to otherwise, you feel empty. It sure comes with age and the feeling is never going away.

    You may wonder why people keep pushing, struggling and hustling for daily bread and to meet ends meet even when it is a known fact that Life is just a phase which will surely pass - I often wonder too. You know, ordinarily, when you realise that all of your efforts and life hustles will one day come to nought, you ought to stop bothering yourself but by default, you just can't stop - the feeling is very mutual, life is happening and like I wrote, by default, we have been wired to not accept defeat and keep pushing.

    When I count the number of Business failures I have encountered, I just wonder why I still keep pushing despite all the failures but then I came to understand that it is part of life for all Humans to keep toiling and sweating before we can get our daily bread. It is a will that is innate, the feeling comes naturally. It is why we even have the phrase, 'Try again' and why we have many Bus stops. If you aren't there yet, it simply means you haven't gotten to your Bus stop. You have to keep trying otherwise you will feel very empty.

    While at the University (during my first degree), I started a Business which was by all means a good one but then several factors came into play, like my University not supporting Entrepreneurs then (no ease of doing business due to tight rules and regulations) and poor network affecting my sales. I lost out at the end because I had to return the machine I operated back to the Company I purchased it from for half the cost price - after losing a lot of my codes which the Company refused to refund me. But that didn't dampen my zeal. Post Uni, I tried about four other Businesses in a bid to raise capital for my present business which happens to be God's special blessing to me but despite their potentials, they didn't hold for long. However, the 'ginger' only got stronger.

    My very last misfortune in Business saw me giving up on this Country, albeit only for a period. How do you explain losing all your sweat in one day to someone's dishonesty? A person I trusted to assist with the day to day running of my Business decided to steal all I entrusted in his hands. He must have suffered a lot to think stealing and absconding is the best way he can get out of poverty. I thought about the unfortunate incidence very well and it all boiled down to the fact that the System has failed a lot of people. Even though that doesn't mean one should steal, it goes a long way to show that a failed system can never hold its head in place. Problems will continue to arise and the funny part is the Government will continue to spend money to tackle the problems. Money that they have refused to use in building the Nation. Where is the wisdom in that?

    Rather than set out on a revenge mission, I have decided to use the experience as a motivating factor to contribute my quota in the fight to tackle unemployment and eradicate poverty in Nigeria. It lit a burning passion in me. It is my passion to alleviate poverty by creating wealth and employment opportunities for everyone irrespective of their social or educational backgrounds.

    There have been many lessons learnt and corrections made though. But one thing that strikes me is that despite all the disappointments, I still haven't given up. In fact, after the last encounter, I told myself that I have stopped believing in this Country but funny thing is that, the thought has faded away and I am more than ready to TRY AGAIN and TRY until I get it right for me, my family and the society.

    My name is Odia Iyoha, I pledge to serve Nigeria through Entrepreneurship, so help me God.
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    ‏ — at Lagos, Nigeria feeling great
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    ONE STEP AT A TIME ‏ — feeling great
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    A lesson on Human flaws and character

    This evening, as I returned home from lectures, I decided to buy Oranges because they were very inviting. I didn't pick the Oranges myself, the Orange seller did and cut them open.
    As I walked home, two things she did filled my thoughts. First is that she...
    A lesson on Human flaws and character

    This evening, as I returned home from lectures, I decided to buy Oranges because they were very inviting. I didn't pick the Oranges myself, the Orange seller did and cut them open.
    As I walked home, two things she did filled my thoughts. First is that she hurriedly picked the two Oranges from the side of the tray not minding the fact that the ones on top could roll away. Secondly, when she cut open the oranges, she didn't show me the insides like the way the 'Hausa' Orange sellers normally do. So, I concluded that she sold bad Oranges to me, on purpose.

    When I got home, I didn't open eat them until later. Infact, I had forgotten about the good-oranges-bad-oranges. I just put them on the table and concentrated on other things.
    When I was finally ready to take the Oranges, I opened the first one and Gbam!, my suspicion was right. A part of the Orange was bad. Surprisingly, I wasn't angry, I was only disappointed. I opened the second one and luckily, it was good but one could tell by just looking at it that it didn't have enough juice. I went ahead and ate it. When I finished, I thought of throwing it away with the partly bad orange but somehow, I found myself tasting it. If it was out of curiosity, I am not sure. I was more convinced that I decided to eat the good part so as not to waste 'food' and the 'money' used in buying it even though it cost a little change.

    The decision to eat that particular Orange must be one of the best decisions I have made so far because it has created a lasting impression in my mind and I haven't stopped relating it to human life. I have always had the impression not to judge by assumptions, hearsay and what is seen because one can not really say why and how something happened, the Orange issue has now become the guide I should use on what I already practice.
    The partly bad Orange turned out to be the sweeter of the two. Imagine? If someone had told me not to buy it, that it was bad, I very well would have listened to that person. But with humans, it isn't so for me. Many a times, I have had situations where someone tells me one or two things about another person's character flaw and rather than think the way the person is thinking, I find myself liking the person with the flaw because, things aren't always what they seem. In secondary school, I was confronted with such situations in more than one instance but rather than follow the crowd and cast judgement, I saw myself getting close to the person being castigated in a particular case and I saw the good in this person. It is in my person not to judge based on what I am told about a person. In many cases when someone tells me bad things about another person, surprisingly, I find myself drifting away from the person who tells me such. It just happens so. Sometimes, even if what is said turns out true, I end up trying to find out the reasons why 'whatever' the issue is happened.

    Tonight, a great lesson was etched in my memory and I am sure not going to forget it. It is, everyone has flaws but always learn to look for the good in a person before noticing the bad. By the time you have seen the good, the bad becomes what it is, irrelevant.

    Peace!
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    Of Birth, Life and Death


    My mind is unsettled, you know why? I can't stop thinking about the three inevitables of our existence - Birth, Life and Death. Sometimes, I wonder what these are all about. Life is not fair all the time, you see someone this minute and the next minute, you get...
    Of Birth, Life and Death


    My mind is unsettled, you know why? I can't stop thinking about the three inevitables of our existence - Birth, Life and Death. Sometimes, I wonder what these are all about. Life is not fair all the time, you see someone this minute and the next minute, you get informed that the person is gone. Gone to where exactly? I mean, what could have happened?

    When a child is born, everyone jubilates, it is always food and dance galore. The merriment never ends, really? But after that day, reality sets in, the struggles begin or continue. Parents work twice as hard trying to provide everything the child needs to live a good life. The child struggles too through School, peer groups and the pressure that comes with each age, overcomes major obstacles, learns new things and develop inate skills, dream big dreams and look forward to realising them. In fact, the child lives well, does well in school and graduates with flying colours while waiting for the next stage of life and without a forewarning, Death snatches the child.
    The mother is left devastated, she blames herself so much because she could not do anything to stop the passing on of her beloved child. Now tell me, is Life fair at all.

    This life is short, oh yea! Each passing day draws us nearer to our graves, reality! When I was much younger, I had no worries. I didn't understand things and somehow, I miss those times. Now, I can't escape the pain, hurt and shock I feel anytime I hear of the passing on of people, especially those I knew personally. The cold shivers that run through my spine, the heart stopping pain I feel in my chest and abdomen for few seconds, the denials and all. It is truly sad. Why must we die? Even if we must, everyone should live till very old age, that way, life would be fair to every soul.

    In this same short life, some people are serving jail terms of life imprisonment and I begin to wonder why? I have so many why's to ask but don't even know how to start asking the questions. What is the place of fate and destiny in our lives? All those caught up in war torn zones, did they ask for that? All those who can barely afford a meal per day, did they ask for it?
    After all the struggles and hustles of the world, everyone will still bow to death, which leaves me to wonder why?

    Why? why? So many why's, I don't know where to start from.
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    Unlock the Book!

    Some books are hard to read, but few are as difficult as the Codex Silenda. Why? Because it actually won’t let you read it unless you’re smart enough to unlock it.

    The laser-cut, hand-crafted, five-page wooden book is created by industrial designer Brady Whitney, who’s been...
    Unlock the Book!

    Some books are hard to read, but few are as difficult as the Codex Silenda. Why? Because it actually won’t let you read it unless you’re smart enough to unlock it.

    The laser-cut, hand-crafted, five-page wooden book is created by industrial designer Brady Whitney, who’s been raising funds for the project through Kickstarter. “Each page features a unique puzzle that requires the user/reader to unlock the corresponding bolts in order to progress to the next page,” read’s the website.

    “As the puzzler moves through the book, a story begins to unfold, depicting the story of an apprentice in Da Vinci’s Workshop who encounters the same Codex. However in the story, the Codex acts as a trap set by Da Vinci to capture any would be spies/snoopy apprentices in order to protect his work. The only way to escape is to solve each of the puzzles before the master returns from his trip.”

    #Culled


    This, to me is an adventure of its own. A briliant initiative if you ask me.
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    Jodi
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    I recently discovered this new method of preserving plantain and since then, I have been wondering why it took me so long to find out, being a plantain lover. It is as simple as you opening your refrigerator and putting your plantain inside. ...

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    Untitled - #randomthoughts

    There is a reason Africa is still backward in every aspect; Ignorance or should I assume that they belief so much in traditional practice of religion that they have refused to format that mentality associated with voodooism and embrace westernization in all its...
    Untitled - #randomthoughts

    There is a reason Africa is still backward in every aspect; Ignorance or should I assume that they belief so much in traditional practice of religion that they have refused to format that mentality associated with voodooism and embrace westernization in all its entirety if they must keep copying the ways of the whites? Nigeria leads the pack of Countries in Africa that have refused to throw away one attribute of the stone age. It is so disheartening that when it comes to fashion, they are quick to throw their identity to the mud and emulate the west but then refuse to relegate to the thrash can boxed up thoughts that everything that seems abnormal has links to the supernatural.

    Many a time, homeless people have been tagged witches and wizards just because they were found wandering about aimlessly and oftentimes, unkempt. In a few instances, the hapless ones were burnt to death while in other cases, the quiet fortunate ones were beaten, humiliated or dragged about naked before the Police intervene.

    For how long are they going to continue this way? The west keep making ground breaking discoveries in Science, Technology and Medicine on each passing day while Africa waits on them for whatever it is they are fed with; little wonder Africa is still where it is today.

    Only recently, an obviously sick woman with a protruded abdomen was seen lying on the streets in Ozoro, a town in Delta State, Nigeria and in the usual fashion; she was surrounded by people and different postulates were made and the best that would suit the ever itching ears of the larger populace was easily circulated online by the very people who took the pictures and uploaded them online - I am still wondering who they sold their consciences to. How on earth could a woman who very clearly couldn't speak have said that she is a witch who went to suck a woman's pregnancy and ended up where she is? Where is the sense in that? Even if she did say that, it was probably under duress; so they could stop questioning her.
    From my observations, getting someone to confess that he/she is a wizard/witch in Africa is easier than obtaining a driver's license in the U.S; how laughable! Who knows if in her discomfort lies a very big discovery in Medicine that would have set Nigeria at par with every other research forward Countries. Oouch! My bad, Nigeria does not even have research institutes in Medicine to start with. I trust the West not to let opportunities like this slip through their fingertips because they know what it means for them in the field of research if they make a ground breaking discovery.

    Africa needs to wake up fast! A lot of things have gone wrong and the first step to making things right is to discard the stone age mentality of theirs. So many great opportunities in different fields/aspects abound in Africa but they would rather depend on the west for what is obtainable in their backyards. How pitiful!
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    Masciano57
    Masciano57 is now a member of this group
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    JUST TRY READING THE BOOK
    I had always passed by that shop admiring its nice exterior, that cute little shop in my neighborhood. Along with my admiration for the shop, there was also a personal ban I had put on that shop, "I won't be caught dead buying anything from that shop I thought; the...
    JUST TRY READING THE BOOK
    I had always passed by that shop admiring its nice exterior, that cute little shop in my neighborhood. Along with my admiration for the shop, there was also a personal ban I had put on that shop, "I won't be caught dead buying anything from that shop I thought; the prices of their products would be exorbitant; their prices would be a sum of the cost of the nice floors and windows, ventilation system, the market price of the product and finally their profit. My next option naturally with shops like that would be to just go in and browse through their products and prices and make an executive decision whether I would lift the ban off the shop, but then the shop and her staff didn't look like they entertained people who just intend to browse.
    Fast forward to this certain day when I needed toiletries and every other shop in my neighborhood did not have that particular item I needed. They all directed me to that shop, "They would have", they all kept chorusing like a perfect orchestra. Feeling defeated and hoping they wouldn't have what I needed, I walked into this shop and asked the really polite sales assistant if they had the item I needed in stock. Of course they had it. The polite nature of the sales assistant was very much above average even for my neighborhood and I thought that was the greatest shocker of that shopping experience. I then asked for the price of my intended purchase and that was when I got the greatest shocker of that day; the price was actually less than the price it was sold in every other shop in my neighborhood. I stylishly checked around the shop for signs that there was some ongoing price discount promotion and all I got was negatives. I almost hit my head on the wall.
    I had just assumed that the shop was high end because it looked high end and I had missed out on amazing shopping experiences; the only reason I had put the ban on the shop was because of its nice exteriors. Regretting my decision, I then made a new resolution which i intend keeping. I would never make a decision, remark or opinion about a shop, person or even an entity without proper consultation with the appropriate authorities. Writing this now I realize that there are many individuals who like me made decisions without proper consultation; these could just be in thoughts which usually result in certain actions. They could be what you tagged little such as "Assuming she is a dummy, because she wears so much makeup" and so much more. With this experience I have realized to a deeper level than most time reading the book is safer decision than judging the book by its cover. And Yes, it was a really humbling experience.
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